Let’s look at that list again, and you may see some challenges.
A man who has been married to one woman for over forty years can be challenging.
Perhaps even thornier than pondering what to wear on a date, where to go, who pays — not to mention how you even find people to date in this brave new world of Internet match-ups — is getting over your reluctance to take a stab at it. "A divorced woman may feel very vulnerable at this stage, in part because she used to have a spouse to 'protect' her and now she has to go out into the world on her own," says Diana Kirschner, Ph D, author of .
But it's also tough, she adds, because once you're on the dating scene you can feel like a teenager again, in that shaky, unconfident, not-sure-if-he'll-call sort of way.
Accept invitations to parties." While it's not unheard of for a woman wounded by a painful divorce to make statements like "all men are jerks" or "all the good ones are taken," that's obviously not a good mindset to have going into dating, says Dr. "That kind of thinking can tank your mood — and cause you to limit your chances of getting out there and finding love." By forcing yourself to keep your negative thoughts in check, you'll soon be in the habit of thinking optimistically, which will in turn make you more ready to date again. You've decided to start dating — isn't that your "intention" right there? "Dating can be a way to sharpen your social skills too." And, of course, a way to get out of the house and have some fun!
A divorcée may also feel that there's something "wrong" with her since her marriage fell apart, says Dr. If that's the case, start training yourself now to recognize self-sabotaging thoughts, and when self-doubts start to pop up, "visualize a giant red stop sign, or a voice yelling, 'Stop! Possibly, the last time you dated there wasn't even an Internet, much less Internet dating.
Some may not have ever dated another woman, because they married the first woman they ever met.
Dating after divorce can be a minefield for the midlife woman.
This type of man may have a hard time with the thought of a girlfriend or future wife.
What about the widower who keeps his late wife’s clothes, phone messages, and pictures all around?
A widower can be still married in his mind, often feeling guilty, as if he is cheating on his beloved, deceased wife. Widowers can have wonderful qualities, if you are able to wait it out.
As the new woman, you want a man who will see you for yourself, as an equal partner, not as a “mistress” he feels guilty about. It takes some time for a widower to deal with the loss of his wife and be able to accept another. But if you are expecting something to develop faster, and if you have expectations of coupling with gusto, your plans may end up in sadness. A woman must carefully evaluate the qualities of a widower and then talk to him openly about her needs.