Some people don’t even consider dating again after having lost a husband or a wife, and that’s completely understandable.Sometimes, you just can’t force yourself to even take a small peek outside of your grief.It can bring out feelings of guilt or betrayal in the widow or widower.It can also bring out feelings of confusion and concern from friends, family, and those who were close to the deceased spouse.The first time I went to dinner with another woman, I felt like I was cheating on my late wife.As we entered the restaurant, I was filled with feelings of guilt and betrayal.
The next thing you know, you are in love again, at peace with yourself and your spouse’s memory.You start dating, but it may not be working that well.You are riddled with guilt and shame in front of your late spouse’s spirit. Wounds heal slowly but they do heal, and you start actually believing people when they say your spouse would absolutely want you to love and be happy again. I'm including this section of the book specifically for any widowers who might be reading it.Dating again after the death of a spouse can be an awkward experience.Whatever you do, don't let others tell you you're moving too fast or waiting too long.Make sure it's something you're really ready to try before taking that step. But five months was when I felt ready to at least test the dating waters.But what does go away is the complete shutting out of the entire world around you.As time goes by, you slowly start noticing other people, not necessarily in a romantic or sexual way. A little more time goes by, and you start considering letting someone into your life.If your partner’s spouse passed away recently, he or she might not yet be ready to date again, but still has the need. You feel appreciated, wanted or desired, maybe even needed, but you don’t feel loved.You feel like a substitute, and it’s definitely not a good feeling.