It’s a small comfort to know that if you end up venturing into a date that’s a total waste of time, a hilarious mismatch, or ends horrifically, you’ll automatically be the most interesting person at brunch the next weekend.And to let you know that you’re not alone out there, here are a few terrible (read: entertaining as hell) tales from some real women who spilled the gory details of funniest and weirdest first dates.I replied, “Ohhhhh, you thought I meant the bathroom at the bar?I meant the one in my apartment.'” –Mary, 26, Manhattan “I went on a blind first date with a man who lived with a guy who my roommate met on Tinder—what a time to be alive. But I’m a trooper, so I tried to stick it out to be nice.“On my first date with my now husband, we went to a local pizza place and sat on the same side of a booth because it was really busy and loud.
20 minutes later, he called and asked if I was OK because I’d been in the bathroom for awhile.I got so embarrassed/paranoid about it that I ended up just keeping myself awake all night." That may be an extreme case, but the "OH-MY-GOD-WHAT'S-THAT-NOISE-OH-NO-IT'S-ME" move is a real thing that has happened to many a guy and gal I know. More often than not it's the guy who will be the stinky one first, and our gym class humor has inundated us with enough fart jokes that when a woman joins in it's more unique than embarrassing.I was disappointed to read on Ask recently that they recommend a guy either blame his farts on the girl or, worse, throw her head under the covers and make her marinate in it. Inevitably a hand will shoot up and, noting the ravenous look in the woman's eyes I'll already know what's coming. The person who is likely the most embarrassed in this case is the person who walked in on you. Assuming the interrupter doesn't make themselves a bag of popcorn to munch on while lingering to watch, the guys I talked to will power through.But I knew that nothing would kill the vibe more than if I screamed bloody murder." A woman may be horrified but a true gentleman will actually be reassuring, although likely suggest a shower pretty quickly in order to move on from this particular moment. " A number of female friends I talked to called this the "phantom condom" where the condom came off inside them and, as my friend Liz said, she became accustomed to pulling the "Let me just go ahead annnnnd take care of this by myself in the bathroom." To be honest? Of the guys I polled the predominant thing he's thinking is whether his semen is still (hopefully) in the condom or if there's a chance some has slipped out and he's gotten you pregnant. As high school as it may sound, some men are still sensitive about the size of their package; a regular size condom coming off during sex fuels that anxiety.Scenario: The Case of the Phantom Condom You're having fun, it's getting hot, and there are screams and moans, you cum, and then relax in each other's arms. In the grand scheme of embarrassing things that can happen this isn't so bad though.If you're with a guy who does those one of two things you may need a new guy. Have you ever had an embarrassing/bad experience happen during oral? Be There For Your Depressed Friends Thinking About Sending or Asking for Nudes? ) in the meditation centers I will ask what people want to talk about, as my books cover a wide range of modern day scenarios. Scenario: There Will Be Blood Almost every single guy I know has had sex with a woman while on her period. That can be smoothed over with a quick apology later on, and the guy knows that. They didn't really see anything," and switch positions.