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"You think you're bonding, but he thinks you're an open book to everyone." What you censor — about your exes, family, friends, even your schedule — can be more powerful than what you reveal.

So talk about your job and interests but stay mum about the juicier details.

"Men often fear losing their independence, but when a woman hints that she doesn't need a guy, suddenly his fears of being smothered vanish and he's begging to be penned into your day planner." And, says Kreidman, "too many women brush off their friends and hobbies for a man.

Playing this game gives her a better grip on balancing her life."The game plan: Plain and simple — tickle his jealousy bone.

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The game plan: Don't let him feel like he has a guaranteed spot on your social calendar."Initially, I was digging him, but he would spend more time people watching than he would focusing on me.So the next weekend, I told him I couldn't make it." Dom's reaction?"We started talking, and within minutes, Ken came over..didn't leave my side all night." Make him feel like he has to fight for your attention.Casually talk to cute men in his presence, mention male friends in your conversations ("Javier said the funniest thing the other day..."), and let him witness other guys checking you out.Allow him to simmer, wondering what you're doing." Laura,* 21, won over her boyfriend using this trick."Andrew looks like Brad Pitt's little brother, and I knew he was used to women being at his beck and call," she says. But I'm all ears now.' He felt lucky to have caught up with me." How everybody wins: Men, says Argov, equate longing with love.Early-stage TMI is a major turn-off for most males."Men feel disoriented when you disclose intimate details too soon," says Kreidman.According to a study from Mc Gill University in Montreal, boys will battle just for the competition.So when you throw in an alluring reward — that would be you — well, stand back.

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