The problem, as it turns out, isn’t gender equality -- it’s in treating your relationship like a contractual agreement.
When you constantly judge who is “responsible” for each bit of mess, it causes more fights than the actual clutter.
In an interview for CNN, behavioral scientist Christine Hartman explained it’s best not to antagonize their friend, since, “To insult a partner's friends is to insult your partner.” Instead, try to understand why they like this person. Being in a couple means getting into really weird hobbies together, like brewing craft beer in your home or speaking a private language that creeps out your friends.
If you can stomach it, make an effort to get on this person’s good side, and be patient about building a positive relationship with them. Maybe the issue was your personality quirks and not Dave’s “Let’s abolish the government and become anarcho-primitivists” platform. But while you both might get really into canning beets, it’s healthy to have some hobbies that the other person isn’t into.
But make sure to plan nights where you see other friends, stay late at work, and do whatever else you used to do. me time, even if it’s only to make the time together sweeter. As per psychologist Sherrie Bourg Carter, alone time can help you be more creative and energized, especially if you’re an introvert.
You’ll have to step it up though: resist the urge to end up on the couch watching Netflix, per usual.
Going out helps define the time you spend together, so you two can comfortably take time apart without feeling neglected.
Instead of taking the “50-50” approach and meticulously dividing tasks, experts recommend the “100-100” approach: everyone is responsible for every chore.
Over time, you’ll naturally figure out which chores matter more to you.